By Dorothy Law Nolte Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Fear, Bad Dreams and Avoidant Behavior: The Development Of An Anxious Child
Author: Ted
By the time you notice one; all three will already be present. Children try first to solve their own problems. They keep trying until the symptom becomes obvious to someone watching. That will be a parent, teacher, babysitter or another adult. Even though many adults observed the child, only one of them may catch a glimpse of the symptom. That adult was in the right place at the right time, not necessarily more attentive. Anxiety is a physical reaction brought about by an emotional trigger. It begins as a thought. There might be danger. It isn’t like a rock rolling down a hill towards you, making all kinds of noise as it crashes through bushes, picking up speed. That’s a clear danger. There is no question how to react to that. This is a suggestion that there might be a rock, maybe right now, in two minutes or two days, that might appear around the next corner and get you or your parents or your cat. But, maybe not. Just in case, you’d better watch out. The physical response comes next. If there is danger there are two options, fight or flee. In order to do either, fuel is required, adrenaline. The signal goes out to load up on fuel. You are now ready to roll, engine screaming, wheels spinning when, oops, wait a minute, maybe there isn’t anything there. Maybe it was just a thought. The adult brain has stored mountains of data which validate reasons to be concerned. Children don’t yet have that data base nor the neurological pathways needed to piece information together. Children just sense and feel. The first feeling is fear. Children might show fear by being irritable, having a tantrum or crying. They will not be able to put words to why they are reacting. They will not be able to tell you what happened. Usually, these reactions are single events. That’s normal. But some children are acutely sensitive. Those children may develop anxiety. Anxiety at any age follows the same route. It is the excess of adrenaline and the lingering question about danger that causes physical symptoms. Those include wanting to jump out of your skin, feeling faint, clammy, light headed, tingling in fingers and toes, heart racing or skipping beats, etc. In an adult these symptoms may come as a panic attack. In a child it is more subtle and slower to develop. It may be physical or emotional or both. Some sense first through their bodies. Others first register via a psychological process. Sensitive kids soak up stimuli and develop a reaction. It starts with feeling afraid. In time the fear might become a bad dream. Parents often notice when the child calls out or comes into the bedroom. Many kids keep it to themselves. Bad dreams reinforce fears that pop up during the day. Even at night, when the child should be relaxed and safe, scary things can intrude and threaten. Eventually the child may become avoidant, such as the child who refuses to enter the classroom or get on the bus or go on the field trip. Most of those children eventually settle down once coaxed to follow through. But unless there is coaching anxiety will develop and reveal itself in unfortunate ways throughout the person’s life. Pushing a child to go ahead, while necessary, is similar to learning to cope with a fear of crowds by forcing oneself to sit in the middle of a crowded theater. It can be endured but there is no pleasure from the experience and other similar situations will likely be avoided. One learns to cope, not to overcome. Strategies boil down to a few key points. First be knowledgeable of the child’s developmental capacity and unique characteristics. Understand that these reactions happen for a good reason. They are rarely at first a manipulation for attention. If bad dreams develop there are ways to help the child become empowered to overcome them. If avoidant behavior is present the child must learn to both push through it but also to understand why symptoms are present so that other, future situations are not similarly avoided. Smart, sensitive kids develop anxiety because they are smart and sensitive. Help them learn to understand themselves and their own process and you have equipped them with strategies that enable them to manage a world filled with uncertainty.
Article Source: http://www.BestToRead.com/
By the time you notice one; all three will already be present. Children try first to solve their own problems. They keep trying until the symptom becomes obvious to someone watching. That will be a parent, teacher, babysitter or another adult. Even though many adults observed the child, only one of them may catch a glimpse of the symptom. That adult was in the right place at the right time, not necessarily more attentive. Anxiety is a physical reaction brought about by an emotional trigger. It begins as a thought. There might be danger. It isn’t like a rock rolling down a hill towards you, making all kinds of noise as it crashes through bushes, picking up speed. That’s a clear danger. There is no question how to react to that. This is a suggestion that there might be a rock, maybe right now, in two minutes or two days, that might appear around the next corner and get you or your parents or your cat. But, maybe not. Just in case, you’d better watch out. The physical response comes next. If there is danger there are two options, fight or flee. In order to do either, fuel is required, adrenaline. The signal goes out to load up on fuel. You are now ready to roll, engine screaming, wheels spinning when, oops, wait a minute, maybe there isn’t anything there. Maybe it was just a thought. The adult brain has stored mountains of data which validate reasons to be concerned. Children don’t yet have that data base nor the neurological pathways needed to piece information together. Children just sense and feel. The first feeling is fear. Children might show fear by being irritable, having a tantrum or crying. They will not be able to put words to why they are reacting. They will not be able to tell you what happened. Usually, these reactions are single events. That’s normal. But some children are acutely sensitive. Those children may develop anxiety. Anxiety at any age follows the same route. It is the excess of adrenaline and the lingering question about danger that causes physical symptoms. Those include wanting to jump out of your skin, feeling faint, clammy, light headed, tingling in fingers and toes, heart racing or skipping beats, etc. In an adult these symptoms may come as a panic attack. In a child it is more subtle and slower to develop. It may be physical or emotional or both. Some sense first through their bodies. Others first register via a psychological process. Sensitive kids soak up stimuli and develop a reaction. It starts with feeling afraid. In time the fear might become a bad dream. Parents often notice when the child calls out or comes into the bedroom. Many kids keep it to themselves. Bad dreams reinforce fears that pop up during the day. Even at night, when the child should be relaxed and safe, scary things can intrude and threaten. Eventually the child may become avoidant, such as the child who refuses to enter the classroom or get on the bus or go on the field trip. Most of those children eventually settle down once coaxed to follow through. But unless there is coaching anxiety will develop and reveal itself in unfortunate ways throughout the person’s life. Pushing a child to go ahead, while necessary, is similar to learning to cope with a fear of crowds by forcing oneself to sit in the middle of a crowded theater. It can be endured but there is no pleasure from the experience and other similar situations will likely be avoided. One learns to cope, not to overcome. Strategies boil down to a few key points. First be knowledgeable of the child’s developmental capacity and unique characteristics. Understand that these reactions happen for a good reason. They are rarely at first a manipulation for attention. If bad dreams develop there are ways to help the child become empowered to overcome them. If avoidant behavior is present the child must learn to both push through it but also to understand why symptoms are present so that other, future situations are not similarly avoided. Smart, sensitive kids develop anxiety because they are smart and sensitive. Help them learn to understand themselves and their own process and you have equipped them with strategies that enable them to manage a world filled with uncertainty.
Article Source: http://www.BestToRead.com/
Allergies in Children
Author: Nicky
Many people do not think that young children can have allergies as doctors at one time believed since the nasal cavities are not completely developed then allergy problems should not exist. Today, we now know allergic rhinitis is one of the most chronic childhood diseases. The main reason some children have allergies and some do not, comes down to heredity. If only one parent has allergies their children have a 30% to 50% percent chance of developing allergies and if cases where both parents have allergies the percentage goes up to 60% to 80%. The most common allergy seen in both infants and children is an allergy to cows milk protein. This usually happens during the first year. Before a child can develop an allergy, he or she must first be exposed to a substance that may later be considered an allergen. Besides food, some allergies that children may have include indoor allergens such as molds, household dust mites, and pets, outdoor allergens include weeds, tree pollen, and grasses. If you think that your child may have allergies, then there are some physical symptoms that might help you make an educated decision prior to visiting your doctor. Symptoms of food allergies in infants can cause yo
ur little one to be colicky, vomit, have diarrhea, rashes, eczema, cry more than they should, and have cold like respiratory congestion. Physical symptoms that may show that your child has an allergy include bluish/brownish discoloration around both eyes, puffiness under the eyes and the eyes may look red and irritated, and the ears and cheeks may appear flushed. Your little one may not be able to explain to you how they feel but you may notice them breathing through their mouth, rubbing their noise, sniffling, sneezing, and have congestion that may make it hard for them to breath. If you notice that your child is always complaining of a sore throat, has nasal congestion quite a bit and has had to be treated for chronic ear infections you may want to ask your doctor is your little one could be suffering from allergies since these also accompany allergies. Remember, allergies can cause excess mucus secretions, this causes swelling of the nasal cavity and breathing can be difficult when your child lies down. It can be so bad that he or she may gasp for breath, cough or awaken in the middle of the night unable to breathe properly. If disturbed sleep does occur from allergies, it can result in sleep apnea.
Article Source: http://www.BestToRead.com/
Many people do not think that young children can have allergies as doctors at one time believed since the nasal cavities are not completely developed then allergy problems should not exist. Today, we now know allergic rhinitis is one of the most chronic childhood diseases. The main reason some children have allergies and some do not, comes down to heredity. If only one parent has allergies their children have a 30% to 50% percent chance of developing allergies and if cases where both parents have allergies the percentage goes up to 60% to 80%. The most common allergy seen in both infants and children is an allergy to cows milk protein. This usually happens during the first year. Before a child can develop an allergy, he or she must first be exposed to a substance that may later be considered an allergen. Besides food, some allergies that children may have include indoor allergens such as molds, household dust mites, and pets, outdoor allergens include weeds, tree pollen, and grasses. If you think that your child may have allergies, then there are some physical symptoms that might help you make an educated decision prior to visiting your doctor. Symptoms of food allergies in infants can cause yo
ur little one to be colicky, vomit, have diarrhea, rashes, eczema, cry more than they should, and have cold like respiratory congestion. Physical symptoms that may show that your child has an allergy include bluish/brownish discoloration around both eyes, puffiness under the eyes and the eyes may look red and irritated, and the ears and cheeks may appear flushed. Your little one may not be able to explain to you how they feel but you may notice them breathing through their mouth, rubbing their noise, sniffling, sneezing, and have congestion that may make it hard for them to breath. If you notice that your child is always complaining of a sore throat, has nasal congestion quite a bit and has had to be treated for chronic ear infections you may want to ask your doctor is your little one could be suffering from allergies since these also accompany allergies. Remember, allergies can cause excess mucus secretions, this causes swelling of the nasal cavity and breathing can be difficult when your child lies down. It can be so bad that he or she may gasp for breath, cough or awaken in the middle of the night unable to breathe properly. If disturbed sleep does occur from allergies, it can result in sleep apnea.
Article Source: http://www.BestToRead.com/
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